I had difficulties to communicate with people. You might think that it is not important, you can just work and be happy. But it is not true. In our society the communication skill is the most important. You need to know how to communicate with your partner, colleagues, chiefs, friends (with real friends it is not so important (they accepted you as you are, but anyway try to listen them sometimes!), even with unknown people.
The person, who is able to communicate is a king. You can get a better job, a better salary, you can create your own business. In fact the business is based on the communication with investors and clients. Just look around, look to the successful people. They all can communicate. With good communication you would get a lot of contacts, some of them will be just contacts, but some would be very useful for your future. I know that there are a lot of different characters and you could be shy, closed person. But you can turn yourself to people, and with one smile and phrase change everything around you. You need just try it. It is a fantastic skill.
As I wrote before I was a really closed person (because I was shy), I was a good guy, but without communication skill I had a lot of problems at work and in relationships. My first attempts to improve my communication were very funny and unnatural. I read a lot of psychological books, watched videos. And with practice I became “fluent”. The communication became my habit.
How to do it? What are the magic rules to break any wall and became a god of communication?
1. Every time smile, even when you are sad. Don’t show it, nobody cares about this. Smile is a universal key for any heart. Don’t be shy. Practice with a mirror. Smile every time, don’t show anyone that you can be sad. You can do it later alone or with people whom you can trust.
2. Love people. It is an interesting point. You need to love every one around you. Just imagine that you tell every one inside your mind “I love you”. There are bad people, but even with them be a diplomat.
3. Speak, speak and speak with anybody at the street, cafe, work. Be open, avoid any phrases those stop conversation (I don’t know. Yes. No.). Listen people, listen more than you speak. Speak with them about their interests, not about yours. You are interested in them!
4. Read some books about psychology, behaviors (it will help you to understand other people). I am going to add the list of the books later.
5. And you must practice! Simply practice everyday, start now. Talk with your friend, ask him about his day, talk with unknown person on the street. Speak at the supermarket.
I know I didn’t write you anything special. There is not a magic. I can not give you a simple and easy key for the hearts. You know about everything from books, by yourself.
But how to become like this? Each moment when you want to start speaking you feel that your mouth became dry and you simply could not speak. I had the same problems. I was absolutely like this. I could not speak in front of people. I cut conversations with one phrase.
I give You a simple trick! It is a fantastic, easy hack. Just put a mask on. Imagine that you have a lot of masks in your virtual wardrobe (Brad Pitt, Napoleon, your best friend). The mask of a person who you know, or who is famous and popular. Play his role, now you are not You. You an actor, You are playing the role. It is just a movie and act like a superstar at this movie. Read this Shakespeare’s quote:
All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
You can do it. Act now! Act today! Act tomorrow!